I love summer. I really do. Aside from its obvious charms, I love the fact that on days like today when I wake up feeling like crap, I don't have to do anything. I don't have to suck it up, slap a smile on my face and pretend like everything is okay. I don't have to ignore the shooting pain in my arms and hands or the fact that my upper back and pecs feel like they're about to start on fire. On the contrary, I can take care of myself. No class. No homework. Nothing. Just me and my pain management strategies...
I don't entirely understand it myself, but every month around this time, I get a flare up like this. I can almost pinpoint its arrival to the day. I get other smaller flare ups throughout the month, but those are solely based upon my activity level, stress, dehydration, and how much I've been playing viola. The nice thing, I guess, about those flare ups is that I can actually control my pain to some degree--stretching, heat/ice, some Advil, and as long as I take it easy, I don't feel too horrible.
These monthly flare ups are different, though. Nothing stops the pain. I spent an extra hour in bed this morning with my electric heating pad, and it felt good at the time, but as soon as I got up, the shooting electric shock sensation in my left forearm/hand returned. I took Advil: no change. Bio freeze: nice try. Ice: no luck. I can actually feel the path of my nerves because they are so irritated. Just give me a marker and I could easily trace their paths, all the way up to my neck, ribs, and shoulder blades...it radiates. Good news? This only lasts for a couple days. I mean, I usually can feel my nerves because there is always some degree of irritation, but this intense burning is just a little unbearable...
Today I plan on taking advantage of the summer. I will guitlessly lay around my house, accompanied by my heating pad, and revel in the fact that I don't have to move. Or lie whenever someone asks, "How are you?!" Or sit in an uncomfortable desk. Or whatever....
In other news, overall I am feeling much better since I've been home. My arms are still irritated easily, but my upper back hasn't been bothering nearly as much. Progress! And I'm up to 20 minutes of viola, 3 times a day.
So, despite the fact that I feel like there's a forest fire raging through my body...
I will defy.
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