Day 15: Prioritizing

This is hard! So far, this initiative has forced me to really carefully chose and embrace my priorities. Starting out back at the beginning of the month, my priorities for time management ranked as follows:

1.)wellness (this includes getting enough sleep, ha)
2.)viola
3.)other homework/classwork
4.)social life

This is much easier to write out on a piece of paper than it is to implement into everyday life. I find myself doing superfluous reading assignments instead of sleeping, hanging out with friends instead of doing homework, and playing viola without stretching. Urg. Prioritizing is a skill, that's for sure, and it requires a great deal of self control. I didn't follow through too well a couple days last week, but I'm back on track now. Today I accomplished all of my wellness goals with the exception of my morning stretches (I slept through my alarm. It's Monday...what can I say?) and I didn't stretch before my first practice session. But overall, that's pretty good.

I'm quite sure I'm making progress. Yesterday was the first day I had to take advil and today was the first time I've had to use a therma-care heat wrap since January. (Note: I typically use advil every other day and the heat wraps 1-2 times per week.) That's over two weeks! My right arm/shoulder/neck is especially sore though, and I'm thinking that's either because I slacked off Friday and Saturday or it's time to get a massage again. Or both.

Typically, when I've gone too long without a massage, I have throbbing pain above my right collar bone that radiates up into my neck and my right arm is more irritated than usual. And that's how I'm feeling this evening...hence the therma-care heat wrap. Tomorrow's to-do list:

• schedule massage

That's a must.

I will defy.

Day 6: I'm in repair

Sometimes, Pandora Radio is either providential or just ironic; I cannot decide. For instance, several days ago, I was in my dorm room doing my afternoon stretches, and a song by John Mayer came up on my station of choice, titled "I'm in Repair." Perhaps you have heard it before. There was one phrase that seemed especially pertinent:

I'm in repair. I'm not together, but I'm getting there.

Do you blame me for chuckling? It just struck me as being rather ironic. While it's hard to know if I am in fact "in repair" or on my way to being "together," I'd certainly like to think so. That's what I'm telling myself in this stage of my TOS journey. I think as soon as you deny that you're making progress, you're resigning yourself to failure. So, as far as I'm concerned, I am in repair.

It didn't take long to realize how hard this was going to be, seeing as I managed to sleep through my morning stretching right away on Day 1. As a busy college student who is usually running low on sleep anyway, getting out of bed in the morning any earlier than I absolutely have to is definitely a challenge. Needless to say, waking up 40 minutes early do to a variety of stretches and exercises has not been going so well. I have only been successful 2 days thus far, and now whenever my alarm goes of disgustingly early at 6 a.m., I ask myself, very seriously, the following question: "Do you want to sleep or do you want to play viola?" When I put it in that perspective, it makes it easier to get up.

So, moral of the story, I need to work on being more disciplined. So far, the only box on my checklist that I've successfully crossed off everyday is for taking my B vitamins (which supposedly is good for my nervous system). Try not to be too impressed. :P Whenever I don't feel like stretching or sitting up straight or whatever I'm supposed to be doing, I just need to remind myself why I'm doing this and what is at stake. My Viola.

I'm in repair. I'm not together, but I'm getting there.

Gee, looks like it's time to stretch again. Ha. :)

I will defy.

Day 1: Time to Get Serious

I am embarking on a journey, and I'm hopeful that it will be one of healing and progress. "Operation Defy" is simply my whole-hearted and extremely intentional effort to combat my physical limitations so that I will be able to pursue my passion for playing viola with all of my heart...and then some. It's not going to be easy, and thus I'm using this blog as a source of accountability so that I stay consistent and dedicated to my plan. I hope you'll join me for this adventure, and hey, you might even learn something along the way. :)

Here's my story--

I have a confession: Most of the time, I feel like I'm falling apart.

I suffer from what is known as Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, one of the most complicated repetitive stress injuries out there. Keeping it simple, TOS is the compression of the nerves, arteries, and veins of the arm as they run through the thoracic outlet, the area between the collar bone and first rib. This produces a wide variety of symptoms. For example, on my worst days, not only do I experience intense burning in my hands, arms, shoulders and neck, but ringing in my ears and jaw pain are not uncommon. This syndrome is difficult to diagnose because its symptoms mirror many other RSIs. I have had symptoms for over 3 years now, but it took 2 years to figure out what actually was wrong. While it's really hard to say how far my case will progress, one thing is for sure; it's not going away.

Last week was a breaking point. Even though I managed to survive my first semester as a music major without any major setbacks, the past month and a half I have been noticing a significant increase in symptoms. While there are numerous things that could account for this, I've narrowed it down to three. 1.)The rigorous Christmas at Luther rehearsal/performance schedule at the beginning of December, 2.)Having 90 minutes of symphony rehearsal every day over J-Term, and 3.)The fact that by November, I had gotten pretty relaxed about stretching and other exercises that I'm supposed to do, making me more vulnerable to intense activity such as Christmas at Luther. So essentially, I let my guard down.

As I said, last week was a breaking point, as that is when I fully came to terms with the fact that I had lost control of my symptoms. I cried. A lot. And I reevaluated my situation. Coming to the conclusion that I could either give up or fight, I chose to fight, realizing that I would have to be just as dedicated to my treatment as I am to my study of viola. It's time to get serious.

Fighting TOS really is a 24 hour job. Stretching, posture training, lots of water, vitamins, exercise, strength training, breathing exercises, more stretching, and stretching<--All this and more in Day 1 of Operation Defy! I sure hope this works...

Thank you for your support!

I will defy.